I want so much.

I want the teenager to see. Really see how precious those around her are. And how precious she is. Her ipod set aside this week, I wonder how that will impact her heart.

I want my little Legolas to know he is precious. School is hard. Home is hard. Everywhere in between is hard. Could it really be that no one likes him? Could it maybe be that what is inside is what is hard? Grace is what heals that place. So I wait for God.

I want the seven year old to stay small. His heart, a beautiful mix of compassion and boyishness. Can it just stay that way? Can he always just look at me with those beautiful blue pools of wonder and be innocent? I want this. For him. For me.

I want the almost-kindergartener to know he is loved. Bedtime comes, and we talk. His favorite thing of the day? That people were nice to him for a change. And he still manages to pray “God, change my heart so I don’t get so mad.” And my heart leaps and weeps all at once.

I want the baby to be the baby. Always. Being almost-two is taxing. On me. Can we leave the tin foil alone for just one day? And possibly not throw raisins around just this once? My heart bursts. Because its hard. And I fear ruining her with all my mistakes.

And still, there are so many more wants in my momma heart.

This weekend, this Easter, I wanted more than anything to know HIS love and feel HIS joy and revel in HIS goodness. My greatest struggle is knowing I am not enough. Mothering is hard and raw and real. And it sends me screaming into myself. Hidden away inside is ache that I can not do this.

But I know the ONE who can.

The ONE who does.

HE did it. It is FINISHED. All I need to do now is to COME.  In the coming, HE meets. HE sustains. HE shoulders my load. Carries my burdens.

These children? They are not mine. Not really. They belong to HIM. And HE will meet them through the ages and weave their lives into tapestries of grace. Me? I am HIS servant. Blessed beyond measure to witness this weaving. Blessed beyond measure to let HIM use me.



how I view LOVE | part one of a twelve part photography series

My wonderfully talented photographer friends and I have embarked on a one year creative challenge called “How I view…”. This is the first of our postings. The theme is “How I view LOVE” (just in time for Valentines Day :))  Once a month, we’ll post the results of our challenge, and I hope you continue to visit and see the world through our eyes! The girls I’m doing this with are super talented, and you’d be missing out if you didn’t check out their amazing work!

After you’re done here, please continue on to Megan’s blog of Meg VanKampen Studios, and then to Mickie’s blog of Fresh Modern Photography.

How I view LOVE….


Daniel’s face in this photo speaks volumes to me. The tender adoration. The wonder in his eyes. The delight in his smile. He beams of unconditional, protective, gentle, grace-full love.

I like to think that this is the way God’s face looks when he looks at me and at you. Full of  love for us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7   “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

sweet sweet baby love

I was lucky enough to watch my little 4 month old niece Natalie yesterday while her momma went to work.

LOVE this sweet girl.


and so do my boys.

They adore her actually.

There are only a few things they will sit still for.

Television is one of them. Holding a baby is another.


DSC_0215copy(cuddle time with Daniel on the couch)

DSC_0154copy5(and some kisses from Noah)

love seeing the sweet side of my busy boys.