My Daniel starts school tomorrow.
This little thing called kindergarten stirs up so many emotions in this Momma.
Sadness. Am I allowed to be sad? Daniel will be leaving me every day, all day for the first time ever. Coming home with stories that took place while he was away from home. Stories that don’t involve me except for the fact that I am the eager listener.
Pride. He’s so excited to finally go to school. He’s been waiting for this day for a looong time. And I love watching his eyes light up when he talks about it.
Worry. Does he know not to suck on his fingers when he’s nervous without me there to tell him? Will he remember to wash his hands after he uses the bathroom? Does he know not to throw things when he gets angry? Can he find his classroom? Does he remember his ABCs? Will he be kind to the kids in his class? Will he miss me????
For a long time, I’ve been telling him I’m going to cry when I drop him off at school. He always giggles. I giggle too. (but I’m serious.) Last week I informed him that I thought of a great plan – I would lock him in his room so I could keep him at home. That induced more giggles from him. I giggled too, again. (I’m not as serious about that one because he doesn’t actually have a lock on his door, and I kinda think that might be illegal anyway.)
This Momma is learning how to let go. Again. I’m in the process of figuring out that motherhood is a series of letting go.
And it’s good.
After all, as his Momma, my job is to raise him up, not duct tape him down.
(but I still reserve the right to cry about it when Tuesday comes!)